I live in a world inhabited by elusive figures. They are always just around the corner. They mock me by remaining out of sight. Secure and safe in their hidden spaces, I hear them talking to me and sometimes shouting at me, things like “what do you mean you haven’t found this,” and “why didn’t you look here yet.” I know these voices are in my head – I have no problem distinguishing internal and external voices, but I must admit that sometimes I get carried away and start vocalizing what my ghostly voices are saying. There’s just so many times I can point to my ears as if I have headphones in and am having a conversation with a living person.

This morning in such a mood, I went on an eight mile hike through an arroyo trail. I wasn minding my own business and trying very hard to keep the voice in my head from being external, when I heard a fairly distant very strange conversation. It was too far off for me to make out the words, and frankly, I honestly couldn’t tell if it was real or if my imagined discussion with my elusive relative was getting the better of me. Of course, it could have just been that I needed to stop and have some water, or walk faster and get home for food. Either one, I was convinced, would have this sort of effect. To my relief these ghosts weren’t ghosts at all, but some humans playing a game with a dog, deep into the arroyo, hidden by the walls. Just as I was passing them from above, the dog decided it had enough and went running up the pretty steep arroyo walls after two dogs being walked on the path near me. The runaway dog’s human companions tried hard to follow their dog and the last I heard from them, they were pleading with him to return to them below – they couldn’t scale the walls.

That’s what I mean. Sometimes the ghosts have to stop pleading and teasing, demanding and even threatening. Some of those walls of discovery simply cannot be scaled.